MARK HILL - writer guy

MARK HILL - writer guy

Chinese Beauty Tea

Picked up a packet of Chinese 100% Natural Beauty Tea in Chinatown today.

Apparently "this natural herb preparation is made from 12 kinds of herbs which are well known in the Chinese traditional medicine for their properties in reducing one's body fat and cholesterol."

Pretty amazing stuff. No wonder they recommend that "one should monitor the body weight changes after taking this tea."

The packet contains 20 teabags, but I expect quick results. So look for greatly enhanced levels of personal beauty and handsomeness and massively improved buffness after the first few cups.

By the time I've drunk all 20 bags worth, stand by for George Clooney-esque heights of gorgeousness.

I'll keep you posted.

UPDATE: I have now consumed 12 of the 20 cups in the packet and, to be brutally honest, the results are less than dramatic. My weight hasn't dropped at all and George Clooney's crown is secure. However, I am still optimistic as I have a theory that the program works, but not in a gradual step-by-step way. Rather, all the tea must be consumed then, at the end of the program, the entire effect kicks in all at once. I am therefore confident that greatly enhanced levels of personal beauty and handsomeness and massively improved buffness is but eight cups away. I'll keep you posted.

UPDATE: Twenty cups gone and I look no more like George Clooney than I did when I started. My mother helpfully suggests that "maybe George Clooney drank more of the tea" but I doubt it. The directions on the package clearly suggest that greatly enhanced levels of personal beauty and handsomeness and massively improved buffness should be seen almost immediately (though, in fairness, the packet does not specifically mention George Clooney). So, all-in-all, I'm forced to conclude that Chinese 100% Natural Beauty Tea has failed to live up to its claims.